Blog Talk

It’s been quite some time since my brief scare that my seasoned gentleman had come across my blog page (“He’s Following Me…” 9.03.17). Remember that I was nervous about how he would react to me and my blog given the fact that he is featured in the last few posts.

Though I was briefly relieved that he had no idea of my blog’s existence, I knew that it was time to tell him about it before he did actually find out on his own. I respected him and our relationship enough to tell him about it.
One day, a week after my scare, we were spending some time together. I don’t quite remember exactly what but something he said gave me the green light to open up a conversation about it.

“My novel isn’t the only writing that I do,” I had said to him. The look on his face was expectant, waiting for me to go on.
“Well,” I continued, “You know that I’ve been single for quite some time now and I always questioned why because it really bothered me. So I decided to start a blog about my single life, calling it The Reluctant Bachelorette. It’s about me being single and exploring why I’m single. It’s about my dating life and my thoughts about it all And the last few posts have been about you because you’re part of my dating life now.”
Whew! I was relieved that I finally told him but now I awaited his response. He listened carefully to what I said and when I finished, his mouth formed a slight smile and he said, “How can we market this into a script for television?”

I loved his response! And I greatly appreciated the fact that he was so cool about being featured in something to which he did not give his consent. I did assure him that I did not use his name nor did I mention where or how we met. I told him that nothing I wrote undermined him as a person. He wasn’t crazy about my calling him The Seasoned Gentleman but he was still a good sport about it.

I expected him to immediately look it up and start to read it but he continued our light conversation and didn’t bring it up again until a few days later.

We were on our way home from the beach one afternoon when he asked me about it. I took the opportunity to read to him the posts in which he was featured. He listened carefully as I read, laughing at the appropriate times and commenting on what I’d written (he was very impressed with himself when I read about my pounding heart as he reached in to kiss me on our first date). I paused often to ask him if he was okay with what he was hearing about himself. He assured me he was, pointing out that my blog is very much about myself and my experiences and he was just an added character I used in order to tell my story. He did, however, cringe every time I mentioned the seasoned gentleman and any time I referred to his age. But when I was all done, he told me he really liked it and he liked my writing style.

Once again, I was excited to finally have my “secret” exposed. Knowing that he was so cool about it was another thing that made me feel like this guy was so great. And I gotta say, I felt so lucky to be spending so much time with him. I felt a little closer to him at that point. I was enjoying my time with him and finally not concerning myself with thoughts of what I wanted from the relationship. But was I kidding myself? There was still the other “secret” I was keeping to myself…

He’s Following Me…

I was working on a paper for my on-line class when I noticed an indication on my cell phone: someone had just started following me on Instagram. Wait a minute. It wasn’t just someone; it was my seasoned gentleman! My heart dropped, my breath grew uncontrollable, and my body broke out into an extreme hot flash. I panicked. I immediately sent him a text, desperately wishing to distract him away from my blog: “Hey!” No response. Why didn’t he respond? What was he doing? Was he on my bachelorette blog? What if he was reading it? What was he thinking about me? Would he be upset that I was writing about him without his knowledge?

STOP! Let me backtrack! I’ve been writing on this platform about my single life for about two and a half years now. I don’t divulge this information to any of the men that I’ve dated because, frankly, it’s none of their business. If you’ve been following along, you’d know that they don’t even stick around that long anyway. So what does this blog have to do with my Instagram account? Every time I write a new post on my blog, I promote it on my Instagram page. I post flattering pictures of myself with “” blatantly sprawled across the image. That is why I panicked when my guy started following me. I was sure he’d take notice of at least one of these images and curiously check my site out only to read about something I’ve never shared with him.

Now, honestly, it surprised me how much I actually cared about what he thought about me, my blog and how I’ve included him in it. But sure enough, when he didn’t respond, I had to seek the immediate comfort and advice of my sister. I called her and told her what happened and she was so generous to offer ways in which I could approach the subject. She made suggestions about what to say to assure him that my blog is about my dating experiences and is not meant to put a spotlight on the man I’m currently dating.

And as my sister was suggesting that I emphasize my blog as my source of therapy, he sent me a text of a sexual nature. He was flirting with me!

The relief was immediate! He was not really an Instagrammer so maybe he didn’t even look through my page. It seemed that he was following me, but he really wasn’t. We flirted back and forth via text for awhile before I was sure that I could resume what I was doing before my initial scare.

While my heart was settled for the moment, I realized that he could, at any time, begin reading my posts about him…

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