Simple Satisfaction

I was recently asked what do I get out of writing my blog, sharing something so personal with countless people who don’t know me and with the many people who do. Before I started my blog- in fact many years ago, I remember telling my mother that I wanted to write a book about all the funny dating experiences I’ve had. I recall my mom laughing and expressing her support, telling me to “Go for it!” But I never did.

The thought, however, always stayed with me. As my sister, my closest cousins, and I would share our unbelievable stories about some of the men we dated and what transpired on our dates, we’d laugh and laugh and we always exclaimed something in the vein of “We should totally write a book about this stuff!” But we never did.

And then, in recent years, upon learning that so many people have started their own blogs just writing about the things that interested them, I came upon the idea (with encouragement from my sister) to start a blog of my very own. And I did!!!

And what a journey it has been! What do I get out of writing my blog? I’ve learned so much about myself within the past few years. It’s scary thinking about your flaws and the steps needed to take to fix them. But my blog has forced me to think introspectively and face issues that I don’t think I would have otherwise allowed myself to face. I did it! I’m doing it! And I will continue to do it!

What do I get out of putting myself out there like that? Being so vulnerable? I’ve been criticized for some of the choices I’ve made or for just admitting some of the things I think, feel and believe. But I’ve also had people– friends, acquaintances and strangers– congratulating me on my bravery in expressing my truth. I’m always humbled by that because I don’t really consider myself brave. I invite strangers into my personal life in the form of a blog. I do it because I love to write and expressing myself is therapeutic. The reason is quite selfish- I don’t see the bravery in that.

But I am sharing my story and the people reading it are finding something in it that resonates with them. Otherwise, they would not continue to follow my blog.

So what do I get out of writing this blog? I feel appreciation for the people who take the time to read my words. I feel fulfilled in knowing that I’m entertaining someone with my stories. I’m helping a woman make an important decision in her life; someone is finding comfort in my words. I do it for the women out there still searching for love. This is for the women who’ve been scarred by love but have not been defeated. It’s for the women out there who silently cry for the children that never blessed their wombs. I want to believe that at least one person reading my story will think: Yes! That’s how I feel too! They don’t have to feel that they are alone in this. I tell my story to inspire others. As long as the words keep coming to me, I will be writing. And as long as I am writing, I will be posting. And as long as I am posting, I know for sure, someone will be reading.

What do I get out of writing my blog? Pure and simple satisfaction.

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He’s Following Me…

I was working on a paper for my on-line class when I noticed an indication on my cell phone: someone had just started following me on Instagram. Wait a minute. It wasn’t just someone; it was my seasoned gentleman! My heart dropped, my breath grew uncontrollable, and my body broke out into an extreme hot flash. I panicked. I immediately sent him a text, desperately wishing to distract him away from my blog: “Hey!” No response. Why didn’t he respond? What was he doing? Was he on my bachelorette blog? What if he was reading it? What was he thinking about me? Would he be upset that I was writing about him without his knowledge?

STOP! Let me backtrack! I’ve been writing on this platform about my single life for about two and a half years now. I don’t divulge this information to any of the men that I’ve dated because, frankly, it’s none of their business. If you’ve been following along, you’d know that they don’t even stick around that long anyway. So what does this blog have to do with my Instagram account? Every time I write a new post on my blog, I promote it on my Instagram page. I post flattering pictures of myself with “” blatantly sprawled across the image. That is why I panicked when my guy started following me. I was sure he’d take notice of at least one of these images and curiously check my site out only to read about something I’ve never shared with him.

Now, honestly, it surprised me how much I actually cared about what he thought about me, my blog and how I’ve included him in it. But sure enough, when he didn’t respond, I had to seek the immediate comfort and advice of my sister. I called her and told her what happened and she was so generous to offer ways in which I could approach the subject. She made suggestions about what to say to assure him that my blog is about my dating experiences and is not meant to put a spotlight on the man I’m currently dating.

And as my sister was suggesting that I emphasize my blog as my source of therapy, he sent me a text of a sexual nature. He was flirting with me!

The relief was immediate! He was not really an Instagrammer so maybe he didn’t even look through my page. It seemed that he was following me, but he really wasn’t. We flirted back and forth via text for awhile before I was sure that I could resume what I was doing before my initial scare.

While my heart was settled for the moment, I realized that he could, at any time, begin reading my posts about him…

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